SHATTERED Page 2

  “You came back for me?” Jan was staring at Ana with wonder.

  “Yes, for you. When you stood on the path and confessed you wanted me to come back despite knowing how dangerous it was, my heart shattered in a million pieces. I couldn’t respond, couldn’t tell you I felt the same, because my directives forbade it. My entire reason for returning had been negated the minute I was dropped off and I couldn’t even respond for fear the government would somehow hurt you.

  “But here’s the thing. Even though I came back to see you, I also came back seeking answers. I have knowledge you may not have. My new directives made most of my mission pointless, but what kept me going was the possibility of seeing you again. Snick’s appearance gave me an opportunity and when you didn’t answer the questions I left, I was disappointed. But I held out hope since you promised to find a way to communicate before I left. I spent every day after the rainstorm watching and waiting and when you didn’t come, I believed it was because you didn’t care. I became angry because I felt betrayed. All my life, people have been letting me down. I just added you to the list. I responded the only way I know how. By flinging words. And driving away the people I care about.”

  Ana was crying now, the tears sliding down her face to gather on her chin before dropping on Jax. Jax understood and cuddled close. She absently stroked her companion, finding solace in the repetitive action.

  Jan looked at Ana compassionately. Reaching over, he cupped her head in his hands, using his thumbs to wipe away the tears. Ana looked up and opened her mouth, but Jan stopped her, gently pulling her close and softly kissing her as his hands continued to hold her face.

  Ana sighed and let herself go. The softness of his lips, the gentle caresses, and the warmth that spread through her all combined to take away some of the pain. Leaning forward, she wrapped her arms around his neck, afraid of letting go. Jan deepened the kiss and Ana fell into the abyss, losing herself in the safety of his arms.

  Jan was the first to break it off, gazing at her as he gathered her hands in his. Ana gazed back, eyes half closed and lips slightly swollen, wanting nothing more than to kiss him again.

  “Ana,” Jan said softly, “as pleasant as this is, we still need to talk. If you come with me, we’ll have all the time in the world to continue. Will you come?”

  Ana forced herself to focus, knowing that no matter how much she wanted to, she couldn’t. Looking down, she slowly shook her head.

  “Why? What’s so important that you feel the need to go back into the vipers nest?”

  “If I go with you, who will rescue the children?” she responded.

  Jan looked at her, understanding beginning to dawn. Her vow to save the children was the most important thing in her life and nothing, not even him, would sway her.

  “Eventually, the children will be saved. But it will take time,” he admitted.

  “And more children will die. No, I will not delay trying to save them just to satisfy my wants. Besides, I have two other vows that need addressing, and one can only be accomplished if I go back.”

  “What are your other two vows?” Jan asked. “Maybe I can help. Maybe my superiors can.”

  “I’d rather not repeat the first. I said it in a fit of anger and while I can explain it away based on what I had just gone through, repeating it would make any denials seem insincere. And the second one is personal.” Ana had no intention of telling Jan about her promise to Mikal. She had killed the boy and still felt enormous guilt over his death. While she could justify her actions to herself, she wasn’t sure what others would think. The promise was a way she could honor Mikal’s memory, but it was her burden alone.

  Jan opened his mouth, then closed it, realizing Ana wasn’t going to budge. Instead, he nodded once, a look of infinite sadness on his face.

  While they talked, the yacht arrived. Ana knew the raft wouldn’t be sent until after the crabs returned. She started talking rapidly, telling Jan the other reason for her return.

  “As I told you before, I found two things, both of which I’ve hidden. I planned on talking to you about them after my period of isolation, hoping you could help me figure out what to do. My situation made that impossible. But if what I was told about one of the items is true, it may help your cause immensely. I haven’t looked at it myself, trusting what I was told but afraid to double check. It’s a plug-in for a vid, but since all the tabs are connected to the central terminal, the minute I play it, the government will know. I hoped to find a tab that’s off grid but haven’t yet. Your people may be able to do what I can’t.

  “The other item is more personal. It contains information about the island as well as the government. It’s firsthand knowledge and I trust it completely. There are gaps, but I may be able to fill them in. When you get wherever you’re sent, find a way to contact me.”

  Ana gave Jan all her personal information, both from Penncony and Flaga, and made him repeat it back several times.

  “I’ll be sure to get the items into your superiors’ hands, as long as I still have them. But I need information myself. If they refuse, the items stay with me.

  “Take Snick with you. Something happened last time I left which tells me he could be in serious danger. You claim the government won’t hurt me, but I wouldn’t put it past them to hurt others to punish me. Please promise me you’ll take him.”

  “It would mean not seeing his family again.”

  “But he’ll live. Promise me,” she beseeched him, desperation clearly visible in her eyes.

  “Tell you what. I’ll explain it to him. But ultimately, it’s his choice. He needs to know what he faces if he chooses to go with me. I won’t force him to do anything he doesn’t want to.”

  Ana thought about it, then nodded. Jan was right. It wouldn’t be fair to bundle Snick on a heli-craft without telling him why.

  “Do you know why my directives weren’t the same as everyone else’s?” she asked, changing the subject. “And why I wasn’t delivered to the beach?”

  “I’m not really sure,” Jan replied, skirting the truth even though he knew. “I know periodically the government chooses someone to undergo the same sentence you were forced to. I assume they’re extremely worried about your personality and what else you might do. Making your sentence much harder could provide the incentive not to keep acting out.”

  Ana decided his answer sounded reasonable. She had made a vow in front of a government building, and based on the paper left in the pack, it was entirely possible they were aware of her other actions.

  The paper. Ana had completely forgotten about the paper. Looking down, she was relieved to see it still lay in the sand. Hastily grabbing it, she quickly folded it and stuffed it in her pack. Until she knew what the words referred to, she planned on keeping them to herself.

  Jan looked at her quizzically. Ana forced a laugh, trying to cover her nervousness. Jan suspected there was something else going on but didn’t want to part on bad terms. Casting about, he finally came up with something less likely to cause another rift between them.

  “Are you taking Jax? And if so, how? I was astounded when I saw you smuggle her off last time. Somehow, I don’t think the same stunt will work this time.”

  “You watched me leave? You saw?”

  Jan declined to answer, mildly embarrassed at being caught. It wasn’t the first time he had watched her, although she probably didn’t remember.

  Ana cocked her head, somewhat flattered he had followed her to the beach, and wondered why he didn’t want to admit it. Studying his face, she concluded he wasn’t going to talk about it and decided to spare him further embarrassment. Smiling, she evaded his question.

  “Oh, I have an idea,” she said. “I’m certain they’ll try to stop me. That directive hasn’t changed. It will make them very, very angry, but I think, in the end, they’ll allow me to take her.”

  Jan looked at Ana, then Jax, then Ana again.

  “You think you can convince them on this? If so, I give you a lot of
credit.”

  “Yeah, I think I can. I promised Jax I would never leave her behind and that’s a promise I intend to keep.”

  “Then I wish you luck,” he said, a smile replacing the look of concern. But sadness quickly returned. “Won’t you reconsider?”

  “Please don’t ask again,” she replied, tears filling her eyes once more. “My heart is already breaking at the thought of leaving you. But the children, Jan. Somebody has to save the children.”

  Jan hugged her tightly. Pulling back, he kissed her again, this one full of sadness and loss. Ana laid a hand on his chest and returned the kiss, eventually breaking it off when she heard the roar of the raft’s motor.

  “I have to go, Jan. Take care of yourself. I will miss you more than you know. Maybe someday, our paths will cross again.”

  Ana stood and brushed herself off. The crabs had returned and were once again settling into the sand. Jan stood also, holding her hand until she gently tugged it away. When the sand smoothed and became still, she turned and kissed him once more, running a hand down his face before stepping out of the trees. Placing Jax on her shoulder, Ana walked towards the water, refusing to look back in case it shattered her resolve.

  Jan watched her go, wishing he could follow but afraid of what might happen if he did. Instead, he retreated to the deeper shadows, not wanting to be seen.

  “I will find you,” Jan promised. “And when I do, no one will ever hurt you again.”

  Chapter 2

  Month 1

  Week 1

  Ana was barely holding it together. Shattered from suffering another broken heart, every step took monumental effort. Blinking back tears and biting the inside of her cheek, she tried to appear perfectly fine. She had no intention of letting the government know they had worn her down. Reaching the water, she waited, subtly slipping the knife out and hiding it in her sleeve.

  “Well, ma’am,” the pilot called. “We meet again. Yet I’m curious why you would ever do something that would return you to this place.”

  “I missed you,” she replied, smiling. “This was the only way I could see you again.”

  The pilot laughed and gestured her forward. As she stepped into the raft, he saw Jax, and the laughter died.

  “The Ra-mur must stay,” he declared, pointing at Jax. Jax tightened her grip and coiled her tail a little tighter. Ana reached up and cooed softly, gently loosening the tail.

  “Oh, I think not,” Ana said. “The creature has a name. Jax comes or I don’t.”

  The pilot gaped. He had never had anyone meet him, then refuse to leave. In addition, he had been told this girl must be returned alive, his superiors telling him to wait if she wasn’t on the beach when he arrived. It was the first time in his long years of ferrying children he received such an order and he found himself at a loss. Coming to a decision, he reached under the console and removed a gun.

  “I wouldn’t do that, if I were you.”

  The pilot turned, all signs of amusement gone. Holding the gun up, he aimed it at Jax.

  “And how are you going to stop me?”

  Ana let the knife slide down. Gripping it tightly, she held out her other arm, placing the tip against the blue vein on her wrist.

  “I don’t believe you.”

  Ana pushed, allowing a drop of blood to ooze out.

  “I still don’t believe you’ll follow through. Anyone can prick themselves.”

  Still not uttering a word, Ana pushed the blade deeper, holding herself very still even though it hurt. When the pilot refused to lower the gun, she started drawing the knife towards her, leaving a thin cut that immediately welled with blood.

  “Woa!” he exclaimed. “You’re serious, aren’t you?”

  “Jax goes, I go. Jax doesn’t go, I don’t go. You kill Jax, I kill myself.”

  The pilot raised his hands, removing his finger from the trigger.“You win. I don’t get paid enough to deal with this.”

  Ana continued watching, not moving a muscle. She had no idea if he was trying to lull her into a false sense of security. It wasn’t until he placed the gun under the console that she relaxed, removing the blade and clamping her shirt over the cut.

  “I hate to admit it, but you impress me,” the pilot said, a look of reluctant admiration on his face. “I can understand why my bosses think you’re special.”

  Ana tried hard not to let her expression slip. She certainly didn’t feel special, just tired. Still gazing at the pilot, she impatiently waved a hand towards the yacht.

  “Yes, yes,” he said. “We need to go. I don’t suppose you’ll hand over the knife. No? Didn’t think so. Okay, sit. I have first aid kit under my seat. I’m going to reach for it and don’t want you to think I’m going for a weapon.”

  Ana nodded, not trusting herself to speak. Every fiber of her being cried out for sleep and she was having a hard time staying upright. When the pilot approached with the first aid kit, she held out her arm and let him dress the wound.

  “Thank you,” she whispered. “Please don’t take what I did personally. I know you’re just doing your job. Despite everything, I’m glad I got to know you. I just wish the circumstances were different.”

  “You and me both,” he replied, the smile returning. “I’ve never met anyone like you. And because I like you, I’m going to give you some advice. You need to be careful. What’s waiting for you on the yacht is nothing like last time. Your life is about to change drastically. The government thinks highly of you and their plans are not going to be to your liking. Be very careful from the moment you step off my raft and don’t let your guard down. There will be people you can trust but it will be a long time before you know who they are. Keep everything to yourself, do what you’re told, and never, ever, give up.”

  Ana was astounded. This was the second time she was being warned, this time from someone she barely knew. She wondered if this man was the same one that had hugged Jan.

  “I can see this last month had been rough, so I won’t ask you to pole us off,” he said, earning a surprised look. “Yes, girl, I know when you arrived, even if I wasn’t the one who brought you.”

  The pilot winked, but his eyes were deadly serious. Sitting quietly, Ana gave a slight nod as the pilot steered the boat away from the island, too scared to respond. She refused to look back and instead concentrated on the yacht slowly filling her vision.

  By the time the raft pulled alongside, Ana was trembling. She took several deep breaths and stood up. When pilot came over and saw her shaking, he wrapped an arm around her, supporting her as she made her way to the side. Grabbing her around the waist, he whispered in her ear as he hoisted her up.

  “Be careful, miss. You’re valuable, even if you don’t realize it. Remember what I said, and I hope someday we can meet under better circumstances.”

  Ana planted a quick kiss on the pilot’s cheek. He lifted her off the raft, allowing the deckhand to pull her onboard.

  Reaching the deck, Ana took a minute to steady herself. The deckhand looked at Jax but didn’t say anything and instead silently ushered her to the salon. Ana walked slowly, afraid her legs were going to give out, and somehow made it to the door. The cool air that wafted out refreshed her somewhat, allowing her to straighten as she stepped inside. The salon looked exactly the same, only now the man in the blue suit was the only person seated at the table. His suit this time was charcoal gray, the shirt a blinding white, and the tie crimson. He was seated in the first chair to the left, making her question the subtle change in status. A large tab rested on a stand in front of the head chair and she recognized it as a vid-conference tab, having had several classes in school that used them for guest speakers. The tab was dark, and Ana wondered if she was going to be interrogated via vid-conference. Her nervousness increased and she unconsciously reached out for something to hold on to.

  Ana knew who the man was, having looked up his picture after her return last time. It hadn’t taken long to find him. The man seated in front of her was Vi
ce Premier Toma Drake, the second most powerful person in Atlantica and Premier Raven’s right-hand man. She had instinctively known he was important, and dangerous, and when she discovered his identity, she had become concerned at his appearance. After mulling it over for several weeks, she decided the government wanted to send a strong message by handing her Caleb’s press release directly. Now, however, she began to rethink that conclusion. She felt cold fear begin to snake up her spine. Ana was scared. No, not scared, terrified.

  “Ah, Miss Swift. Welcome aboard.” Vice Premier Drake stood at her arrival, removing his glasses as he offered a slight bow. Ana was taken aback. This was the last thing she expected. Still holding the wall, she nodded.

  “Won’t you join me?” he asked, gesturing to the seat directly across from him.

  Ana took a step forward and her knees buckled. The burly attendant, who had been standing just inside the door, quickly reached out and grabbed her before she fell.

  “Oh, dear,” the Vice Premier said, a look of concern crossing his face. “You’ve had a bit of a rough go, haven’t you? Let’s let you rest a bit before we start, shall we? Marcus, please place Miss Swift in the chair there. And get her a pillow and blanket so she can nap if she likes.”

  Marcus picked Ana up and gently placed her in an oversized chair. Hooking his foot under an ottoman, he dragged it over, lifting her legs so she was able to lay down. Opening a drawer under a bench set against the wall, he removed two pillows and a large blanket. Placing the pillows behind her, Marcus shook the blanket out and laid it over her, burying Jax in the process. Ana was shocked by the gentleness Marcus displayed. He was the largest man she had ever seen and could probably snap her like a twig. But his actions were incredibly tender, and she thanked him for being so kind.